I haven’t been employed since around 1988 (when 1st baby Erin arrived), other than a brief summer temp. job at a daycare about 20 years ago.
I had to chuckle as I filled out a template for a resume on a job search website, because I had nothing to put for previous employers. What in the world have I got to offer? What have I been doing all my life? I put down life experience things and tried to make it sound like I am a productive human somehow.
Strangely enough, I got contacted to come for an interview to work with disabled adults. I don’t know if I will get the job, and I don’t know if I am supposed to do this, but I do think I could do it. Yesterday, I chuckled to myself again as I dressed up and drove off to the interview, thinking, “I don’t know how to do an interview. This is going to be hilarious for the poor interviewer.”
Having had a day now to process what I just experienced, I just feel like I want to jot down my thoughts. I have learned so much about myself, and my life, and I guess after losing 110 pounds this last year, and rediscovering that I can physically work hard and have energy to do things, I feel ready for adventure. I was surprised that the questions the interviewer asked, and the thoughts and answers that they prompted from me, made me realize that my whole life has been a treasure trove of useful experiences.
Sometimes, I have been saddened that we haven’t been “movers and shakers” on planet earth in ministry. We haven’t led hundreds to Christ, or built any successful para church ministries, or can even point to much of anything astounding that has been accomplished. Yes, I know, we have been faithful, and we have consistently endeavored to teach truth and point folks to Christ. We have come along side and helped. We have loved with His love.
Then there are my artistic pursuits.
So many! Song writing ministered to me and got me through the heartaches of ministry life. I wrote a few blogs, I wrote a few children’s books and published them, but did it really matter in the whole scheme of things? What about my art? No fine art piece has been a masterpiece that made an impact on any soul other than mine, again, as it was just a thing my heart was set to do as a healing balm and sometimes as an act of worship. Or many times, it was just an attempt to make a little money, which of course the starving artist thing is a real thing! Illustrating over 80 children’s books has been a fun hobby with a little freelance work income. But even after a few awards and having illustrated for some big names, nothing exciting has come of it.
Nothing has made me famous, or rich, or particularly successful at all.
So, off I went to see if I should perhaps put all the ministry stuff, and the artistic endeavors, aside, and be an adult and do a job, like most folks. Why did I think I was special, and had special gifts to offer, so that I need not rely on the ball and chain of regular job for a consistent paycheck?
But then there were the questions at the interview, and the answers that spewed out of my mouth. Yes, it was probably hilarious to the poor interviewer. To me, it was an awakening.
“How well do you work with a team?” “How do you do at keeping records of events?” “What would you say to someone who doesn’t understand or is uncomfortable around someone who is disabled?” “What motivates you?” Etc. etc.
Every question I could answer with confidence because I have lived serving others for 30 years. I have run AWANA clubs, written and orchestrated entire Vacation Bible Schools, taught so many lessons to kids and women, and have pulled together elaborate women’s events. I homeschooled my kids and had to keep detailed reports for the state, and I have had a son with autism that I have had to advocate for and educate others about. I could write a book about it all, and probably I blew that interview because I blabbed on and on too much.
I don’t think my heart is filled with pride currently. I think my heart is filled with a new awareness that I have had a life that has been purposeful IN HIS HANDS. I feel like it has such beauty that I never saw before! The simple life, the “do little things with great love” (Mother Teresa), the learning, the growing, the living out and sharing… it does have value. After all, isn't my life an offering to Him, and doesn't He take it and make it something He can use? Jesus told us in John 10, “I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.”
I think that the Lord has made my life beautiful. He has taken me places I never could have gone, and I have done things I never could have imagined. Simple beautiful things. On planet earth, I have added to the beauty.
This brings me to this song. Sara Groves, my favorite female Christian singer songwriter, has been celebrating 20-year anniversary of this albums release, and it has caused me to re-listen to it. This song is what sums up my beautiful job interview. Please read and go listen. Beautiful.
Add To the Beauty- by Sara Groves
We come with beautiful secrets
We come with purposes written on our hearts,
written on our souls
We come to every new morning
With possibilities only we can hold,
that only we can hold
Redemption comes in strange place,
small spaces
Calling out the best of who we are
And I want to add to the beauty
To tell a better story
I want to shine with the light
That's burning up inside
It comes in small inspirations
It brings redemption to life and work
To our lives and our work
It comes in loving community
It comes in helping a soul find it's worth
Redemption comes in strange places,
small spaces
Calling out the best of who we are
And I want to add to the beauty
To tell a better story
I want to shine with the light
That's burning up inside
This is grace, an invitation to be beautiful
This is grace, an invitation
Redemption comes in strange places,
small spaces
Calling out our best
And I want to add to the beauty
To tell a better story
I want to shine with the light
That's burning up inside
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